Craft Wars Ep. 2: Crafting’s a BEACH

Crafting is INDEED a beach, and I have been terribly remiss in my Craft Wars recaps!! I wasn’t going to bother trying to catch up or keep up, but after receiving encouraging comments from two Craft Wars crafters and meeting two others in person at Renegade, well now I feel it’s my duty! Let the Craft Wars Re-cap Marathon BEGIN!

Let me re-state that it has been a few weeks since I’ve actually seen this episode, so there will be a lot of paraphrasing fun!

The craftestants for Crafting’s A Beach were BlogGirl, CraftMyAssOff, and PowerTools.

BlogGirl has … a blog. The fact that she referred to her BRAND really stuck out in my mind. You may recognize the guy in the middle as the one who was like, “IM GONNA CRAFT MY ASS OFF” in the teasers for this show, and that’s something you can’t un-hear. PowerTools mentioned her helper was really handy with…power tools, and that’s the only thing I can remember right now.

The 1 hour Pop Craft challenge: Make a bird house out of stuff from a junk drawer.

BlogGirl took one look at that drawer and said, “What am I supposed to do with a drawer full of CRAP?” and proceeded to whip off her scarf cuz shit was about to get SERIOUS!

CraftMyAssOff worked on LIGHTING his birdhouse. WIN!

PowerTools wielding a power tool.

I was seeing a LOT of glue gun here. I AM LOOKING AT YOU, BlogGIRL!

Unfortunately, whenever Tori goes to speak to the craftestants, I feel like this is pretty useless footage. She doesn’t have the same nuggets of wisdom that Tim Gunn has on Project Runway, or that conversational zazz that Alton Brown has on Top Chef, and then the craftestants always look so hurried that they really can’t hold a decent conversation anyway. She does seem very caring and concerned, but it’s too bad she can’t give them little helpful hints.

Now let’s get to the judging. Tori and the judges were very concerned about the fact that the birdhouses needed to be functional, i.e. water proof, sturdy, etc., like you would use these in REALITY.

PowerTools was first with her playing card bird house. It also had a cluster of keys underneath for wind chimes.

Stephen took issue with a bird house having wind chimes.

Jo was very concerned about the playing card shingles and their lack of weather resistance.

Ok, I didn’t know that Outdoor Mod Podge existed either. Preach it, Jo! (Jo actually always seems really nice, like you’d want her to be your grandma. I like making her sound super tuff, tho. OUTDOOR MOD PODGE. I BUTTAH MAH WAFFLES WIDDIT, SUCKA.)

Next up was CraftMyAssOff with his nod to “mid century modern.” If you use astrotuf, you win in my book.

I believe Jo did not think the v-shape of the roof was very practical for the rainy season.

I didn’t take a screenshot of further commentary on this bird house because I was really disturbed by how much overdubbing was starting to occur. Like, any time you hear someone talking but can’t SEE them talking, the commentary is likely to be overdubbed. It doesn’t take an A/V genius to figure this out because the audio is so much different when this occurs. They need to get a better sound editor so I don’t lose my mind! I mean, this is supposed to be reality television. I know it’s not all real, but can you at least make it SOUND REAL?

Next up: BlogGirl’s drawer-full-of-crap bird house. She had planned to paint certain panels in order to create more unity, but ran out of time.

Tori stated solemnly, that sometimes, in crafting, less is more…

…and bid adieu to BlogGirl, who had to pack up her glue gun.

And now the 5 hour Master Craft challenge: make a set of patio furniture out of beach “stuff” like towels, beach balls, and boogie boards.

There was a moment when Tori went to talk to PowerTools, and PowerTools looked very busy and hot and sweaty, and Tori, filled with maternal instinct, WIPED PowerTool’s SWEAT WITH HER HANDS.

To which PowerTools said outloud:

Did you ever think about the fact that it’s doubtful the judges and Tori hang out on set for 5 whole hours while the craftestants saw stuff and paint things? Maybe they do. SOMEONE LIFT THE VEIL FOR ME. (Okay, Cheryl, winner of Ep. 1, just told us that the judges do in fact go out to lunch and have the fun times during the 5 hour craft sesh and are not sitting there as it would appear on TV. I think they should film that, too. It would be a funny contrast! “Should we pop back into the studio to make some comments about glue?” “No, I’m not finished with my tiramisu, and my cappuccino hasn’t even arrived yet.” “We shouldn’t come to this cafe again. The chairs need to be recovered and the wall color is making my heart cry.” )

Ok, I think what she was actually saying was, “WHO WANTS THE CRAFT LOW DOWN!?” followed more hideous overdubbing about what CraftMyAssOff and PowerTools were building.

Now the judging!

CraftMyAssOff made a really finished-looking set. The piece de resistance was this lounge chair made out of stacked boogie boards, and Tori actually sat on it. I liked his serving tray lined with beach ball material. I probably wouldn’t want towels as my light coverings as I would be afraid of FIRE, but overall, I think he did a fine job. Except, Stephen may have felt differently.

PowerTools created a funky looking wave table and kind of a weird couch thing with a volleyball net canopy. I couldn’t seem to get a very good snap of her pieces.

Seriously, my first thought about the wave table was whether or not my fictitious toddler would cut his face open on a wave. But let’s just pretend this furniture is for grown ups only.

Stephen seemed very focused on her use of rope as accents. He kept saying it was WESTERN and CONFUSING.

I didn’t think it looked any more Tiki or OK Corral than CraftMyAssOff’s. ROPE IS NAUTICAL AS WELL, STEPHEN!! Rope: it’s not just for cowboys. Rope: it’s also for sailors, serial killers, and construction of beach-themed patio furnitures.

But regardless, there were lots of issues with her canopy looking funky and unfinished, as her frame was unstained, and she simply tossed towels over the top of it.

I think Jo may have said it looked like a towel rack. But Erika really loved the pillows made of towels and wet-suit material… so I think the theme was TOWELS, hence the towel rack would be appropriate, yes!?

Tori – now Sweat Sisters with PowerTools, SweatSisters 4 Lyfe – supported PowerTools’ craft passion.

Tori has said that crafting is all about the details, and crafting is all about passion, but passion was not the winner’s weapon in this Craft War, and the victor was CraftMyAssOff. *AssConfettis*

 

p.s. As I mentioned before, I have been out of the Craft Wars loop for a few weeks (doh!), so I don’t know what the crafting public thinks of the show now, except that a little girl asked if I was the Asian girl from the show (next episode). I noticed in the beginning that a lot of the crafting on this show was taking a lot of heat for being ugly or even “giving crafting a BAD name.” I think before saying these kinds of things out loud, pretend you’re on the show, with an hour to make something beautiful involving paint and glue and crap from a junk drawer. Do you really have such an ego that you think you could do SO MUCH BETTER? Okay, maybe you could, there are lots of talented crafters out there with great taste, but an hour really is not a lot of time. Sometimes I can barely get dressed in an hour. I have also seen comments where people say that the projects on the show are un-creative and look like things you can buy in a store. YOU PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE PLEASED! On the one hand, you think stuff is too crazy and weird and therefore ugly, and on the other hand, you think the other stuff is too polished and clean! HELLO!?

Opinions on the ugly/pretty-ness of Craft Wars projects aside… I read a cool blog entry about Craft Wars that I really liked. Sadly I can’t remember right now where I read it, so if you know, let me know know, and I’ll edit this entry.

**EDITS*** Thank you, Cheryl ! The blog entry was by Margot Potter, another contestant on the show. Check it out!! ****

She said, that if you are a fan of crafting and a self-proclaimed crafter, that you should try to support and embrace this show, that there are not many or any other shows like this about crafting, and that if we support this one, maybe more will begin to pop up, and these shows about crafting help get the word out and introduce people to the world of crafting books you’ve written or crafting supplies you’ve designed or patterns you’ve posted, and it could over all just HELP you, as opposed to you pointing your fingers and despising all that is Craft Wars.

Clearly, I think there are weird problems with the show, but overall, I really liked this blogger’s attitude about the whole thing and wanted to underline it!

(My re-cap of Ep. 1)

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35 Responses to Craft Wars Ep. 2: Crafting’s a BEACH

  1. NICOLE says:

    “I buttah mah waffles with it!” made me laugh πŸ˜›
    And even though I don’t craft , I agree with you… I think that it is so True .

    • TwinkieChan says:

      About supporting the craft shows? It was definitely a perspective I had not taken into consideration beforehand!

      • NICOLE says:

        Yes! (Sorry I wasn’t very clear) but, it’s true the more support shows like that get the more exposure awesome crafters will be able to get and the whole circuit will expand

  2. Staci says:

    Thanks for this – my DVR cut off at the moment Tori opened her mouth to announce the winner!

  3. Thanks for posting this!!!! In answer to your questions… No the judges don’t hang out the whole time. They went to lunch and on fun trips around the city while we crafted our asses off! The article about how crafters should support the show even if you don’t love everything about it has to be Margot Potter! She wrote some great stuff about how crafting on TV is a good thing and needs tO be supported. Also, for all the people who think the challenges are unrealistic, several of the contestants have been creating objects based on the previous week’s theme. My Craft Wars inspired craft for this week can be found at the following link and then I have links to the others: http://lydiaburchett.blogspot.com/2012/07/joshuas-special-delivery-birth.html

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Thanks, Cheryl! I almost think it would be funnier if the show contrasted scenes of you guys sweatin’ it in the studio while they cheers’ed champagne at brunchybrunch!

      Thanks for letting me know about Margot Potter as well. I will go find her blog and link it!!

  4. Lynne says:

    The judging of this show makes me angry every week. If they would judge in a way that considered “Yeah they have 1 hour to make a bird house” I’d be happier. No they didn’t use paint it wouldn’t dry in time. No they didn’t use tacky glue and used a glue gun again tacky glue wouldn’t dry in time. NO doofus not every one wants or likes glitter!! That guy says every week “Put some glitter on it.” I bet when he has a wound he just rubs some glitter in it.

    • TwinkieChan says:

      I’m constipated. I’m going to put some glitter on it!

      Yeah I agree with you about taking into consideration that other glues do not dry within an hour and stuff like that. I have said that to Hairy before too.

      Then I’ll think about cooking challenges and such where time is a factor, but the chefs don’t like……. use a bunch of pre-cooked food (normally) instead of cooking it themselves. I don’t know. That’s a terrible example, but you know what I mean? So like, I feel the judges shouldn’t let them off easy just because they only have an hour, but really, it’s not just a lot of time to make some crafting magics happen!

  5. I was sooooo looking forward to your next recap, and loved every word of it!
    As a contestant on the show that reads all of the good and bad in the press about the projects, crafters, judges, etc., I absolutely LOVE your realistic (and hysterically funny) point of view. Thank you so very much and I honestly can not wait until it’s my turn to hear what you have to say about my work!

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Nikki you are putting so much pressure on me!!! HEHehe j/k.

      I think it must be so rough to be on TV like this, and be judged BY THE PUBLIC. If I do a little video project, I’m already cringing about the whole thing. I can’t imagine being on TV. I said no to being on HGTV once a few years back because I was so terrified of what that would look like. You all are so very brave!!!

  6. You know Stephen has a live after show on Spreecast every Tuesday at 6 pacific. You should come and tell him your thoughts. I’d kinda love to see the look on his face when you say “Rope: it’s not just for cowboys. Rope: it’s also for sailors, serial killers, and construction of beach-themed patio furnitures.”
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    http://www.spreecast.com/events/craft-wars-after-show-stephen-brown-ep2

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Andrea, I don’t want Stephen to yell at me!!!! Hehehehe.

      • Ohh Stephen doesn’t yell. He just freezes you with his ice blue eyes! seriously though, he’s a super funny guy. Come watch tonight and you’ll see what I mean. No pressure to chat or anything of the sort πŸ˜‰

  7. Kerry says:

    Oh heck yeah, I am SO with you on that rancid overdubbing. I thought about turning the sound off and just dubbing my comments throughout the whole show then I wouldn’t feel the need to find some “musical pattern” in their dubs…HA. As a crafter after loads of inspiration, I do support the show and hope it has some fabulous spin-offs…

  8. this made me lol, and was essentially what i was thinking//saying to myself as i was watching that episode.

    i feel like we need an archive of craft wars/project runway/etc. commentaries somewhere. im not sure why i love commentaries so much lol

    sometimes i feel like: OMG i could do so much better than that with an hour!!! but then again, i am sitting on my ass in my room on my computer watching, and the contestants have no idea what kind of materials they will be handed when they go into this. i almost want to try it for myself, but im pretty sure that every time the camera would turn toward me, i’d just be a mess of mouth-blurs and BEEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPs… as when i am busy and frustrated i swear like a sailor. a sailor with a very nautical rope, that is

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Apparently many of the contestants are now also doing the challenges at home and blogging about them. Maybe you could try that! Not really the video part but just the project part πŸ˜‰

  9. Danielle says:

    Ahhhh the dubbing, it hurts my ears!!!!

    I always think the judges of any shows like this are crazy with their expectations, whether it’s cooking, fashion, crafting, whatever, it’s like ok, who can create anything decent in an hour? Nobody does that! I’m surprised any paint or glue they use can actually dry in that short amount of time, let alone that they can design and execute something that looks good and is functional.

    I still think Amy Sedaris would’ve been such a perfect host, I can see her walking around and giving some crazy advice to the contestants… probably involving bad wigs or pantyhose.

  10. This is such a great post. Thank you for taking the time to go through the whole episode. I especially love your captions on the pictures. I don’t know what to expect with my episode! I’m sure you’ll have plenty of fodder for a post and I’ll look forward to your comments giving me a laugh!

    Your ps is great too and one of the reasons I decided to be a contestant. We need to give the crafts some credibility and visibility and this show is just the first step! Thank you Twinkie!

  11. Traci Remley says:

    AMEN sister! My ugly ass bag didn’t make the cut but it was creative… and I got shit for that… Cheryl’s bag was polished and pretty and commercial… and she got crap for that. AHHHH:) Can’t win either way. But hey I had fun so I will just Buttah may waffles with that!

  12. Yay Twinkie! They need to hire you to do this as an aftershow show, fo show.

    Okay, sorry, I have not had enough coffee yet.

    xoxo
    Madge (a.k.a. Margot Potter)

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Hello, Lady Potter! Thank you for visiting!! πŸ˜€

      Yes, please, put in a good word for me. Will work for Michaels Gift Certificates! πŸ˜‰

      I haven’t seen your episode yet! Catching up slowly slowly slowly…..!!!
      xoxoxoxo

  13. GabbyAnne says:

    BEST LINE EVER “Rope: it’s not just for cowboys. Rope: it’s also for sailors, serial killers, and construction of beach-themed patio furnitures.” Well this line is pretty awesome too “OUTDOOR MOD PODGE. I BUTTAH MAH WAFFLES WIDDIT, SUCKA.)”
    You come up with the awesomest quotes ever! I love your recaps!

    Keep going, and I like Jo she seems really nice. STEPHEN SCARES ME THOUGH!! There is alot of OVERDUBBING, Sometimes I can’t stand it so much, that I actually press the mute button. AND I LOVE the part where you wrote “wassup Judges.” CraftMyAssOff actually made a pretty good set, I was pretty impressed with him! PowerTools did a good job too, and I think her wave table looked pretty cool even if the waves are kinda pointy. I just think Powertools set didn’t look FINISHED so, I think CraftMyAssOff was the better choice.
    I love your recaps though Twinkie, you always have a creative point of view. That’s what I really like about reading your blog, you never fail to disappoint.

  14. Candy Calavera says:

    I’m so glad you did another recap. I was totally gonna be dismissive of this show because I don’t like the concept of rushing cause you can’t rush art, you’ll just end up with a mess! But you totally convinced me of sticking with it because if have to give it a chance in order to get anything better. Though personally I’m impressed when they show people painting hand carved figures or sculpting with blown glass. Powertools has got to be my favorite, though Craftmyassoff works better under pressure.

    • TwinkieChan says:

      I don’t mind the rushing because I think time is a factor in most all reality shows. the #1 thing I hate the most about the show is the obvious over dubbing! Hehe.

  15. Tanya Bishop says:

    I personally love “craft shows” even if they aren’t the greatest for one reason or another. I live in a small community a minimum of a 45 min drive to anything. It’s my craft community. Craft shows are all I have down here. I appreciate blogs, and have successfully completed a couple of online workshops. Thanks Claudine Hellmuth, and Traci Bautista for being good online instructors. Also, Big Piture classes. Affordable, with lots of cool downloads. Just want fellow stranded draftees to know : D Hope you had a Happy Birthday, the ever beloved Twinkie Chan!! Hooray!!

    • TwinkieChan says:

      Sometimes I’ll think about having regular crafty get togethers at my house, but then I get real lazy!!! Heidi of MyPaperCrane.com holds regular crafternoons at her house that look like a lot of fun. I just feel like my friends would be kinda flakey and I’d be all alone with 10 projects and a bundt cake! πŸ˜›

  16. Colbi says:

    I knew I should have recorded this show. Also — due to your Dawson’s creek tweets, youve inspired me to also watch all the ‘sodes on Netflix!! I’ve always been super curious about it and it’s finally happening!

    • TwinkieChan says:

      YAY! My brain has regressed to pre-teen style so I was very sucked into the show heheheh. I had never watched it before. I think I thought it was too stupid back then. It’s probably still stupid, but provided some nice crochet entertainment!

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