“At H&M, pondering my relationship with my knees.” – More on that.

So I was typing out a blog entry about yarn swifts and ball-winders (non-yarn people are like….. YAWNNNNN…. hehe), when I stopped to check my Instagram.

Screen Shot 2013-11-07 at 10.55.59 PMManda and I are leaving tomorrow for Pasadena to vend at DesignerCon with the Yummy You! booth, and she asked if I wanted to meet her at the mall so she could pick up a few things. We ended up at H&M. I’m trying not to purchase so much crap, but I got sucked into the shopping vortex, a little bit. I tried on 3 things and kept these two.

While in the dressing room, I mourned my bare knees. I know that everyone is probably like, “Your knees look fine.” But you know how it is. We all have certain parts of us that we find awful no matter what anybody says, and my knees happen to be one of mine (there are others, but today is about knees). I think I have really big knobby knee caps, with some flub hanging over the tops of them. I tried to shift around before taking the photo, to minimize gross-knee-effect. I don’t know if I figured it out. I am also bow-legged. I am unfortunately also really hot and sweaty most of the time, but I still won’t usually wear shorts or dresses without tights or leggings underneath. CUZ MY KNEES.

Anyway, I snapped a photo in the dressing room anyway, cuz I always think those are kinda funny and intimate.

This moment reminded me of something someone told me years ago. I remember I blogged about it then, but I can’t find that entry (don’t even know if it was Livejournal, or what!). It was about how I walk around town and see people’s plants in their windows and think that their plant arrangements look really good, and that I don’t know how to arrange the plants in a nice way. The person I was with said, “Your plants look fine. You just don’t realize it because you see them all the time.” This was a very casual comment and not meant for discussion beyond that moment about plants, but it’s something I keep remembering.

Sometimes we forget that we are intriguing, cute/pretty/sexy/handsome beings. That people see us differently than we see ourselves. And even if you feel dumpy and gross and fat-kneed, you are still a beautiful mystery to someone else. I think it’s a good reminder for ourselves. Over and over again.


On another strange note, Manda tried on some stuff as well. She came out in this dress that looked perfectly fine, yet, kinda like, not HER. The only word I could think of was “sporty,” since there was a stripe/panel down the middle. I said, “There’s nothing wrong with it. It just looks kinda SPORTY. If you love it, go for it. But I can’t put my finger on why I think it doesn’t look like YOU.”

She said, “Maybe … it’s … TOO YOUNG.”


I’m not sure if that was the answer to why her dress looked so odd to both of us, but once she let that question out of her mouth, I just kept wondering…. IS IT TRUE!??!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m clearly a big supporter of “age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” and I know that people can wear whatever the heck they want as long as they feel good in it. But sometimes these questions creep in, especially as you approach your 40s and still shop where teenagers shop. “Do I still feel good in this?!”

I have no deep conclusions from that situation. It was just… I don’t know. It made me stop to think for a second!

It also made me want to go shopping next time and put together an outfit that I think is a grown up outfit, what my perception of a 37 year old lady is! Hmmmmm………

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26 Replies to ““At H&M, pondering my relationship with my knees.” – More on that.”

  1. Fiona says:

    I say stay cute and dress in those youngen clothes!! I love that comment about how we perceive ourselves vs how others do, so true. Always our own harshest critic! I know you weren’t fishing for compliments but I’ll say it anyway….your knees are the bees knees πŸ™‚

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Ahah thanks, Fiona :). Yeah, ultimately we shouldn’t care what other people think of us, but maybe it’s interesting to remember that they might be more delighted by us than we are!!! πŸ˜›

  2. Krista says:

    Ah girl I can relate, not to the knee issue but just aging in general and still keep your own style. I’m 42 and well honestly I think finally I’m comfy in my own skin. I used to shop at forever 21 and h&m but not anymore I find the stuff is cut for prepubescent kids and they just ain’t me, I have a woman body now. I used to only wear jeans and cute tshirts now it’s mostly dresses and leggings. I think it’s important to be open when it comes to style, don’t fall into a rut and wear the same thing all the time. I find the best clothes thrifting and then no one has what I’m wearing and no one looks like me. I think you are adorable and I promise your 49’s are nothing to fear!

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Yeah, “bodycon” and skinny jeans REALLY ain’t for me! πŸ˜› My body shape usually doesn’t fit that well into the vintage clothes that I like, plus a lot of it is polyester which I sweat and stink in, but I definitely keep my eye out on Etsy for my favorite search words….. like…. baby doll dress and peter pan collar! πŸ˜‰

  3. claire says:

    I know EXACTLY what you mean!
    A few weeks ago I bought a pack of really cute hair bows online
    When they arrived, I look at them and thought ‘Am I too old for this?’
    I never, ever thought I’d think this way, but it’s definitely been creeping into my head more lately. But you know what, who cares? I don’t look 30 and you definitely don’t look your age!!
    We like what we like, and thats what’s important

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Tis true!!! But I think it’s also okay to evolve when we’re ready πŸ™‚

  4. Hannahbelle says:

    I wish I could take you shopping!

    One of my favorite things is to go shopping with people who want to dress more age appropriate but still keep their funky and fun style. It’s soooo much easier than people think it is! I love a riot of color and pattern and print, personally, but I’m 27 and I am constantly trying to look more like an adult. So I get that feels.

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      I’m not really super trying to dress like an adult…. especially now that I don’t work in an office, but if I ever decide to go back to a 9-5 where I have to look grown up, I will definitely take you online shopping with me πŸ˜›

      1. Hannahbelle says:

        I didn’t mean 9-5! Just your same fun and funky style but some ‘older’ details!

  5. em says:

    You barely look out of our your teens!

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Aw you’re sweet!! But I’m definitely getting the crinklies around the eyes, the eye bags, and the weird squidgy body πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  6. Lynne says:

    I think you’re right. Dress however you feel comfortable. There are a few times in life when our dress needs to kind of conform if we want to participate. Like when my brother wanted my daughter to be his flower girl. SIL wanted her in a pink dress. My daughter is not a pink dress girl. I told it’s OK to politely say no if you just can’t get into that pink dress. BUT is it such a bad thing to honors someone small wish on their special day when they want you to be a part of their special day. She wore the pink dress. I’ve tried to change my attire, but I just love tye dye. I can’t help myself. I haven’t worn it to a wedding, but I did just wear one to jury duty. It was a low key tasteful one… at least I thought so. πŸ™‚

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      I offered to wear a wig as my friend’s maid of honor, and she insisted that I didn’t need to, but I bought 3 of them anyway. I didn’t want the photos to look weird because of ME. Hehe. But as it turned out, I didn’t wear the wigs afterall.

  7. oooOOOOMG! I’ve been discussing this very thing. My daughter is 21 now – and I’m starting to feel some type of way….i can’t exactly put my finger on it. *sigh

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Yeah it’s like, you know you can wear whatever you want, but it’s just a weird FEELING when you’re wondering if you want to change!

  8. Heather. says:

    As a 39 year old who regularly shops at Forever 21, H&M, American Eagle, etc. I know this question all too well. I feel like I should be shopping in more “grown-up” stores, but those clothes just aren’t me at all! I’m perfectly happy dressing how I feel rather than how I “should”.

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      I guess my weirdness is with wondering if I no longer feel like I want to shop at F21. I have this thought a lot, but i keep going there, so it’s kind of cyclical! πŸ˜›

  9. Amiguruthi says:

    You’re NEVER 37?! I thought mid-twenties! Christ woman keep shopping at H&M hon!

    I’m 26 and I’m in that weird state of ‘too old for x and too young for y’. I basically cannot find clothes lol. x

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      I guess that’s why we need to learn how to sew and just make our own clothes! πŸ˜›

  10. Haeri Kim says:

    That pink top and polka dot dress look cute on you. And your knees look like knees. I’ve never even given my knees a second thought unless I trip and skin them! Us ladies be obsessin’ over the craziest things.

    And woah, I had that same I’m-too-old-for-this moment at Nordstrom today. I don’t normally try on Wildfox stuff because I’m more of a subdued, Vince-wearing kinda gal, but I gave it a go, and although it’s cute and all, it felt a little like I was trying to play a Disney show teen star. But I was like, “Whatever, it’s a flattering cut, plus 20% off,” and I got that stupid shirt anyway. πŸ˜›

  11. Grace says:

    Your knees look like…knees…don’t give it a second thought, Twinkie. You’re NOT too old for cute clothes, and in my opinion, you’ll never be!

  12. Emi Gurumi says:

    37?! You are NOT! You are the very definition of ageless Twinkie. I mean, you make and wear food crochet and totally ROCK it!
    I loved the comment about the potted plants though. It’s a nice simple way to remember that others see us differently than we see ourselves.

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Wait till we celebrate my 38th birthday! woohoo!! heheheh

  13. arinn says:

    for the record (not that you were asking), i think your knees look like normal knees! we all have those weird judgements about our own bodies though, and the best we can do is acknowledge them & get over it…my thing is that i’ve always disliked the way my stomach is shaped & sometimes feel like i have awkward hands. “awkward hands”? like anyone else has ever looked at them and thought that! well, whatever.

  14. Cami says:

    I know how you feel. I am a year older than you. I would say that there is nothing wrong with changing up your style as long as it makes you feel like yourself. Thinking about things like age is probably inevitable… It’s out there and in our faces in the form of advertising, etc. If you still find things you like at H&M, continue to shop there. We define who we are from the inside out.

    1. TwinkieChan says:

      Thanks, Cami! Yeah I guess I always think about photos from my 20s, and I’ll wonder why nobody told me how ridiculous I looked. We’ll see who I’m mad at in 10 years for not telling me to stop dressing how I do now πŸ˜› πŸ˜› :P. Ahahha.

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