Happy new year, a-holes!

We ate dinner at Dessert Republic and then discovered it was 11:30pm. We had no plan. I think me and Manda were ok with going home, but Hairy was hell-bent on at least finding a dive bar in which to ring in the new year.

As is tradition when the three of us are together on NYE, Manda, Hairy, and I ended being not inside any venue when the clock struck midnight. We were still walking the streets after parking the car. Oh well! Then we went into Butter for an after NYE drink. I didn’t even get the right drink.

We watched a lot of hizzos dance on the bar top in very short skirts.

On the way out, we hit up Crepes A Go Go. While waiting in line, this random girl walked up to us, said hello, and said, “My friend is not an asshole.”

What?

She proceeded to explain that she overheard Manda and I calling her man-friend an asshole because he stepped in front of us in line.

In reality, Manda and I had no idea about her man-friend, and were talking about something completely different, and I don’t even remember saying the word asshole.

She CONTINUED TO INSIST that we called her friend an asshole, and that he wasn’t. It was SO BIZARRE. I was so confused and incredulous. I kept trying to explain that we had no clue about her whatever her friend was doing. Finally she smiled and said, “It doesn’t matter. Happy new year,” in a super passive-aggressive and bitchy way, and then Manda told her her eyeshadow was pretty.

And then we spent the next half hour trying to think of what would have been a better reaction. I suggested barfing on her. Or suddenly speaking in broken English. Or calling her an asshole. I asked Hairy what George Constanza’s well-thought-out come-back was from Seinfeld. Apparently it was something like, “Th Jerk-store called and they want YOU back!”

Anyway, dirty ho’s and people-who-butt-into-your-conversation-to-start-random-crap are a nice way to start the year! :P

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25 Responses to Happy new year, a-holes!

  1. Tamz says:

    No it’s “The Jerk Store called and they’re all out of you”.. or something.

    You should of said that you didn’t call him an asshole and that you called him a douchebag. Asshole is so 2009 :D

  2. Rach says:

    That is exactly why it pays to stay home on new years eve! Dickheads ahoy!!

    Happy New Year to you Twinkie

    X

    • Twinkie Chan says:

      ahhh but the dickheads sometimes make for great stories.

      also there was a lot of barf on the street and people leaning over into corners. that’s pretty gross. have some class, people, and learn your limits!

  3. Tori says:

    Tamz comment is so true x3 lolz.

    Man I woulda flipped. My withdrawal from meds and being that time the month makes me.. well… OH HELL NAW BITCH. AND WE DIDN’T REALLY LIKE YOUR EYESHADOW OR YOUR FACE EITHER.

  4. Dawn Bryson says:

    I hate to say this but, this post cracked me up. Sorry, you had a weird event, but makes for a good story.

    I would have said, thank you thank you asshole, in a very bad accent. That would have made her think…ROFL!

  5. Polly says:

    How bizarre! I expect she was extremely drunk, I’ve had similar experiences in the past with silly drunk people. And I hate the trying-to-think-of-a-comeback thing, I usually think of really good ones just as the person has walked off and then it is too late. Oh well. Hope the rest of your year goes much better than the beginning of it!

  6. mel says:

    aha. nice.
    happy new year twinkiechan!

  7. marianne says:

    “And then Manda told her her eyeshadow was pretty.” THIS TOTALLY REMINDED ME OF MEAN GIRLS.

    Happy New Year!

    • Twinkie Chan says:

      me, toO!! HAHA except, i think Manda actually meant it and was trying to kill the situation with kindness, but the girl didn’t believe her anyway, so it had the Mean Girl effect. i love it. You’RE PRETTY!!! hahah.

      Happy new year!

  8. Jules Chan says:

    Thats exactly why we start staying in New years Eve. I’m surprised Manda didnt get into trouble telling her her eyeshadow was pretty. very funny.

    Happy New Year!!

  9. Sophie says:

    Aaah that sort of thing annoys me!!! Happy new year though!

  10. Michelle says:

    LOL! Well you had more fun than I did. I stayed home and chatted online. LOL! Oh well, you started off the year with something exciting.

  11. Coralene says:

    I hate the I-should-have-said’s!! I always do that. When I lived in Seattle, my friends and I were waiting in line at a hot dog cart sometime in the wee hours of the morning and this 6’10″ sparkly transgender gal in front of us kept turning around and telling us we looked fun, and eventually asked if she could come with us, even if to just ride in the trunk. That was six years ago, and I still think of things that I should have said back to that!

  12. Maggi says:

    Weird-o. It reminds me of the one New Year’s I was at a bar, my friend got super drunk, it took me forever to get her in the car to go home, she then reached over me to honk the horn at a cop who proceeded to ask me “You got a problem?” then when we’re finally on the road, she tries to get out of the car while it’s still moving so in an attempt to keep her drunk ass from falling out I’m holding the steering wheel with one hand while holding onto her with the other. Then she rears back like she’s going to hit me so I smack her in the eye.

    Yah, the freaks come out at night on NYE and sometimes those freaks are me. lol

    In conclusion, I stay at home on NYE. Have a great 2010!!! :D

  13. denise says:

    My poptarts are Super Awsome ;0)

  14. Tanya says:

    wow, how crazy is that,and to top it off, barf all over! Next year stay home and make fondue. It’s crazy and dangerous out there. She might have been on some crazy drugs!
    I wish I could come up with a snappy comeback, but I don’e have one for something that bizarre.

  15. elena says:

    ps. we’ve just talked about PANETTONE THEME in Facebook!
    ih ih ih..what a weird!

  16. elena says:

    my last message on this page says that it’s 11.30 a.m. (maybe in America?)now it’s 8.30 p.m. in here!O.O

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