Open Up & RELAX!

I decided to get my teeth whitened. I have been thinking about it for about a year, and then my dentist brought it up, so that seemed like a GO. My teeth aren’t TERRIBLE, but if I try to wear a lipstick instead of a lipgloss, I can super tell my teeth are not the right color… Also since I end up taking a lot of photos for work, I don’t want to offend the innocent public with my weirdnesses.

I asked my dental hygienist, whom I LOVE AND ADORE (her sister also cleans my teeth and they are so nice and funny), to run down some options with me, with as much honesty as possible (as I know they would probably want to push the dentist’s offering which was bleach trays).

Surprisingly, she told me that the home whitening strips’ “chemistry” was getting better and actually not a terrible option. However, they are probably only best for touch ups, and not for an initial whitening, as it’s difficult to obtain good coverage and you might get zebra stripes!

She said the un-fitted trays you buy over the counter are fine, but you’ll get the goo all over your gums, and that’s not really where it’s supposed to go. My gums are already sensitive and testy, so that didn’t sound like an option for me.

My bestie got the laser whitening a few years back, which sounds cool cuz it’s a one-time thing, but my hygienist said she’d seen a case where the lady got laser whitening and some of her tooth sheared off and she also needed like a kabillion root canals. Granted, that was probably a one in a million case, and maybe affected by other things, but…. I don’t need to go there.

So bleach trays it is! Today I got my impressions done. WHICH SUCKS. I have a really sensitive gag reflex. I gag when I brush my teeth or try to pick popcorn out of my molars. If you have to get your impressions done for trays or a mouth guard or braces, here are a few tips I’ve been given.

– Ask if they can mix the goo with warm or hot water. This apparently makes the goo set more quickly so it spends less time up in your mouth parts.

– When they do the upper impression, which is the suckiest one, ask if you can lean forward instead of leaning back. This is so you don’t feel like all this crap is going to creep down your throat, plus any errant saliva can run forward and not back. I always feel like if I swallow, my gag reflex will go cray cray, so I’d rather drool all over myself onto some paper towels than wretch up some bile on the nice technician.

– They always tell you to breathe through your nose. I also like to go into a meditative stare to try to go to my Happy Place.

I have sensitive teeth, so apparently, after I do a sesh of bleachie goo, I will follow up with a short sesh of de-sensitizing goo. We’ll see how it all goes. I go back in next week to get all my shizz.

9 Comments on “Open Up & RELAX!”

  • rae


    ew just seeing those trays makes me want to gag. when i had to get mine for my retainer i totally puked all over the technician. it was SO embarrassing.

    • I totally puked at the ortho’s office when I was a pre-teen. And then i cried from fear and embarassment!

  • Lee


    Your teeth already look quite white to me.

    • They’ve taken a turn for the worse in the last year or two! I notice it a lot when I’m photoshopping pictures of myself.

  • chinamommy


    they can spray your throat with numbing spray too!!! I ALWAYS ask for that! I just got done with invisalign braces so I had plenty of impressions made-gag! The spray works every time!!

  • candice


    OMG! I know exactly how you feel! I got my teeth whitened last year and TOTALLY gagged during the impressions. I was so scared I would throw up on the poor hygenist! lol. Then the whitening procedure itself sucked. Sitting there for so long with my mouth open as this uv light thingy invades my space was aggonizing…then comes the nerve pain. After about 30 minutes I feel this aweful sharp pain, like someone took a poker to my nerves on my teeth. The pain was pretty quick, but really sharp and came in short bursts during the entire procedure. Then for the next 24 hours…the sharp pains kept coming. I think it finally stopped after 48 hours…but the dentist never really warns you about how severe the pains are. Maybe I’m just a baby (which I am when it comes to dental procedures).:/

    I had to get the sensitive teeth jelly stuff too. I feel your pain mama! Luckily, you will have pretty white teeth afterwards. Be sure to take a before picture and after in the same lighting…because I couldn’t really tell a difference.

  • Dawn. B


    As a dental assistant, this post cracked me up. I’m the “bleach queen” in our office I’ve done a lot of research etc..etc… if you already have ouch teeth from cold etc…u should get some prevident booster sensitive they can get it for you, and should have given it to you. I have super ouch teeth so it’s a given for me when I touch up. I also can send you a super duper goo thing that takes ouch away instantly =) you crack me up, I love your blog and think you rock..yellow teeth and all…haha

  • UGH. I remember getting those goo trays when I got braces X( I almost puked all over my hygienist but luckily, I missed her 😀

  • jennifer


    yeah get some of the kids fuloride deal and enmal boosting toothpaste i use to bleach my teeth at home and then right away they got super senstive naturally i have senstive teeth and and gums so yeah if you have cavities of fillings that need fixing do those first before doing lots of whitening

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