While my parents are on vacay, Manda and I were assigned the duty of house and dog-sitting. Manda took the first shift, and I took the second, and we overlapped with a slumber party night, but everything went down hill when Manda locked herself out of her bedroom.
She had googled all kinds of ways to pick a lock with no success. Then we asked my brother to come over and help, because this used to be his old bedroom, and we figured he might know something we didn’t. An hour or two later, all we had was a chewed-up expired AAA card, a chewed-up copy card, 3 bent kitchen knives, and the scent of WD-40 in the air.
The night had turned into an EVENT. I said that we should create an actual event on Facebook really quick. “Twinkie Chan was at THE LOCK OUT.” Manda was like, “Amanda hosted THE LOCK OUT.” I like to think that we can do anything when we put our minds to it, but breaking-and-entering just aren’t going to be strong points on our resumes.
We considered different ways to bust through the door like they do in the movies, but all I could imagine was my brother with a broken shoulder or his foot stuck through the door with splintered wood sticking out everywhere. We called a locksmith. He opened the door in 2 minutes.
The entire time, I was dreaming about the mac n cheese that Manda had cooked.
So with the whole door debacle, Manda didn’t have much time to pack her stuff up, so she ended up spending the next night, and the next night, and the next night.
A key factor in dog-sitting is that my parents’s dog Domino starts howling and barking on the porch around 6:30am or 7:00am when he wants his breakfast. If you know me at all, you know that I’m generally not a morning person … ! On Friday morning, I woke up with Manda to feed the dogs. I think I had like 2 hours sleep. We were kinda just sitting around in the kitchen, because I didn’t feel like falling asleep just yet, and Manda joked that we should be naughty and get drive-thru breakfast.
Another key-factor about me is that I NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT EYELINER. This simply just does not happen. It only takes me 5 minutes to put on my face, so it’s not like a big ordeal, but, I need my face did to enter the real world. But at 7 in the morning, I did not want to wash my face, brush my teeth, or put on real pants. Manda and I put on crazy sunglasses and just hopped in the car. This may sound very normal, but for me, this was absolutely insanity. We weren’t even wearing bras. I mean, that’s just criminal.
We commemorated the day with dignified outfit photos in the cool morning mist. I couldn’t stop laughing when I took Manda’s photo, because she had a tiny hole near the crotch of her sweat pants and the dogs kept trying to stick their noses in it.
Hairy was actually still asleep when Manda and I were goofing around, and we made him take a pajama photo later. Manda remarked, “In every photo I have of you, you’re flipping me off.”
As we were rolling through the drive-thrus (yes, more than one, because Hairy wanted french toast sticks), Manda said I should hop out and pose near the menu. I told her I didn’t want to get arrested, and she assured me I would not get arrested. I thought that when the lady was ready to take our order, she was going to tell me to get off the lawn.
The first thing that Hairy said when he saw this photo was, “THAT’S ILLEGAL!!!” Later he said it was not illegal. IS IT!!?!
There is this thing Manda said once about 8-10 years ago that sticks with me to this day. She said, “Why don’t we ever take pictures of the SMART things we do!?!?”
Check this smart thing we did: Domino likes to poop on the porch, and I like to scoop it right away so that the other dogs don’t tap dance in it. At some point, he left his poop presents out there, and I exclaimed that I had JUST washed my hands and put on hand lotion. I was like, “I need my anti-poop gloves!” And…… then we made some. Out of paper towels and scotch tape.
Don’t worry. I’ll let you know when you’ll be able to contribute to our Kickstarter for our magical Paper Towel Poop Mitts. (That donut is covering up real dog poop. I thought I would spare you.)
Finally, to round out our weekend shenanigans, we to a super bro-y a sports bar in Palo Alto. Manda had gotten her hair styled that day, and I wondered if she wanted to take her curls out for a drink.
There was a lonely photobooth in the bar, so we decided to keep it company. Little did we know that it was the most horrible photobooth ever. For some reason, I could never figure out WHEN it was taking photos. This was the result.
I guess I feel like the whole point of recording all the stupid stuff Manda and I do is that it’s always really special when you find people that you not only feel comfortable being yourself with, but who also appreciate it, understand it, adore it, and reciprocate it.